High Speed Asphalt Test

[hellneau]

A couple of weeks ago, I bought a new-to-me motorcycle. I know, I know, end of the season, I will have to sit on it all winter and just make payments right? Well, I've wanted an R1200GS for a couple of years now and I came across the one that made my little heart go pitter patter bejeweled with farkles. Low miles, good price, EZ financing. So with the blessing of my mostly loving and incredibly understanding wife I got a new payment book. (yippy!)

Man I love riding this new-to-me motorbike. Everything fits my short, chubby frame just about perfectly (if you can call tippy-toe at stop lights perfectly). So on Sunday, October 2nd, I moved our not used enough RV to a Rapid City campground to spend the entire week riding the southern hills and slightly beyond. My plan was a different direction every morning with a mix of dirt and pavement and no pre-determined destination in mind. I studied all the maps I could find all week long. Great way to end the riding season? I thought so.

So Sunday afternoon after getting everything set up, I rode my new ride gingerly down Iron Mountain Road and getting much more comfortable, got a little more zippy coming back up Needles Highway, around the backside of Mt Rushmore and to top it off, a flash down old Hill City Road. Feeling pretty proud of my purchase and a little hungry, I took myself to a nice Mexican dinner and headed back to the RV. Upon arrival, I noticed there was still daylight left and I hate wasting daylight (plus I just love the ride) so, off to Old Rockerville Road, then Playhouse Road and back into Keystone. Leaving Keystone and heading mostly north and some east up US 16 is where I performed my test.

Ya see, the deer in the area like to move around, mostly without rhyme or reason I might add, around dusk, and – you guessed it - it was getting on to dusk. I performed this test at just about 70 mph with the help of one, approximately 250 – 300 pound healthy, but mentally deranged specimen of a local deer that vaulted over the guardrail in a feeble attempt to remind me why I like venison jerky so frigging much. As his feet touched down in the center of my lane, I tapped him just behind the ribcage. My lower front fender allowed me reevaluate his last meal and luckily my upper fender kept him from coming over the top and greeting me face to face. In hindsight, it might have been the southern end that would have caught my eye. After the initial 'get to know ya' phase, my beloved new payment book slammed into the pavement and tossed me like a used condom at a Friday night frat party. I tumbled down the asphalt a few times until my helmet had enough and took off on its' own. I then spread out and attempted to see how long my jacket would keep my arms and chest from collecting a little road rash.  Not bad actually, but please don't ask me to test your gear. I am hoping to be out of this business.   

I have no idea how far I got tossed or how far I slid. I do know the people of this area are phenomenal folks that have no peer when it comes to compassion for their fellow human beings. The first person that stopped was a trained EMT and performed her roadside test - what's your name, who's your daddy, pull my finger. What? Was she kidding me? (thank you!). The second one thought I was a goner and called an ambulance STAT (thanks again). The next ones went down the road and picked up my bike and moved it to the side of the road and the next ones went after my glasses, cell phone and helmet which somehow went in three different directions (thank you, thank you). Many more stopped and everyone was duly concerned. I tried to thank them all, but in case you see any one of them, please thank them for their thoughtfulness one more time. Did anyone get video?

The Keystone Ambulance service showed up literally within minutes and the guys in the ambulance made me feel right at home as we all sat in the back passing a little gas (they had Mexican too!) and telling scrape 'em off the pavement stories as they were taking my blood pressure over and over and over.... (yes, it was higher than normal after my high speed filleting of a hind quarter). Luckily they only wanted to take my temperature the big boy way. Thanks again guys! The SD Highway Patrol stayed with my bike until a tow truck came and hauled the wreckage away. I spent the remainder of the night being picked, poked and prodded in the emergency room at Rapid City Regional. Again, wonderful folks that made an old guy as comfortable as can be considering my recent experiment. I have not been this popular since.... well, never!

Now comes the scariest part of the whole ordeal – I had to call my wife and relay the news. Ya see, 'the queen' is home wrapped in her most comfortable flannel pj's enjoying a nice quiet evening (without me to bug her) reading her book with a glass of her favorite fermented grape juice.  "You did WHAT?! Where are you, no really, where are you, don't kid about this sort of thing!"  She finally gets that I am serious and 'by the way, could you please bring my recently emailed insurance card'. She dutifully loads the dog in the car and heads down to the hospital with some not so ripped clothes for me. What she doesn't tell me is she's also bringing the camera. After all these years, she's still got a sense of humor. Who knew? Those gowns do not flatter my backside or my front side and my hair was just a mess.

The outcome? I need a new jacket and a helmet that will stay with me. I fractured a couple of ribs and also fractured bones in both feet, plus just about everything in between was sore for a few days. Now as I am approaching grumpy old fart age, I am quickly noticing that I don't heal as fast as I used to. However, as the older couple in the RV on the scene observed, I must have had someone else riding with me that night as for what happened I am very, very lucky. I have to agree.

The bike was covered in deer fat and pre-pelletized scat. I have washed off most of the scat, but the fat is proving to be a really stubborn issue. And it's in every little nick and cranny too. I've used (in order) car soap, Dawn dish soap, Simple Green and Greased Lightning followed by my pressure washer and none of them is working. Suggestions? I am open. Let me hear them.

Lessons learned? There's gotta be a life lesson in here somewhere. First; don't pull anyone's finger no matter how much of an angel they appear to be. Secondly; I rode all day without a jacket or helmet. After dinner I stopped and installed the brain bucket and zipped on my jacket.  No real reason, just thought it might be the prudent thing to do. Karma? Maybe, but I am now a convert to the 'all the gear, all the time' theory. Don't wanna preach, ya'll do whatever you think is best for you. Next time you see me, my relatively hard noggin will be bucketed and my torso will be wrapped in textile.  Lastly; I love this area and the people that call this area home. Our decision to move to this area has never been more positively affirmed than it was the night of October 2nd, 2011.

Ya'all ride safe.

[jacin theis]

Mike told us about your "off" at lunch last weekend. Very glad you are ok. Sorry we haven't connected to ride since Moab. Let me know if there is anything at all you need, will gladly lend a hand. Also glad it doesn't sound as if you are giving up riding, it will be hard to shake "that feeling", but i bet the deer is still more scared than you are...

[hellneau]

thanks Jacin, appreciate the thoughts. Mike and I rode Vanocker Canyon on Thursday and I did not feel weird at all. Hope to keep riding next season as much as I can. This summer just seemed to get away from me and was gone before I knew it. Moab 2012!

[Hank]

Wow..  thanks for the great write up... sorry it wasn't about something better.

Take it easy and heal up fast.  Sounds like you have the right attitude!

Deer are my biggest fear when the evening rolls around.   I just clipped one once, when I was about 16.  It's head hit my leg, I knocked it down and it knocked my rear signal off.   This happened about 1/2 mile after narrowly missing a black angus and 1/4 mile after hitting an owl.   I was happy to get home.

[Sportfaller]

Glad to hear you fared okay, I know how "fun" that whole deal can be. Good to hear you put some gear on the last minute too!  do you happen to know who your ambulance crew was that day? several of the folks on my service (Hill City) also work for keystone, and i like to have things I can get after them about!

A bit of advice: when it comes to fixing the bike, just take it to sturgis and let them do the work and haggle with the insurance. It was a HUGE pain in the ass to do it myself, and took 2 months longer than it needed to.

Glad your still in the game!

[JoniJo]

My thoughts are with you my friend. Glad you decided to gear up for that late day ride!
It just so happens that today is my first ride (on the Valkyrie) since I broke my leg. OK...somebody say, "go break a leg"!
Also.....you're a very good writer. Thinking about writing a book?              Joni

P.S. The new bike getting closer in my sights....Triumph Tiger 800xc.   

[hellneau]

Josh
I don't remember the names of the ambulance crew. Both guys were real nice, so I figured they could take a little good natured kidding. One of the guys was a little more portly than I and was on a TV commercial I saw during my hospital stay. I asked about you and they acted like they had no idea who you were. They probably thought I was delerious from the tumbling.
My insurance co (Markel) has been wonderful to work with. I only had the bike two weeks, told them what I paid, sent them the estimate from BMW and they sent me a check and let me keep the bike. What could be better. The only thing I don't like is because the bike's damage was so extensive, it effectively cancels out the remainder of the warranty (one of my reasons to get that bike) no matter who fixes it. It's going to be a long snowy winter, I figure what better way to get to know the bike (heated garage). Believe it or not, my wife wants me to go get a new one, swap some farkles and recycle the old. She may be on to something.

Joni
thanks for the thoughts. I would ask to take that Triumph for a test ride once you get it. I was hot for one too, but since you now know my history, I am sure a demo is out of the question. Hope your ride went well. We'll have to get together for the survivors ride.

[sleddog]

Rich,

Congrats on the new ride.....

Sorry to hear of your  get off & really glad you're going to be ok!

Been thinking of you & wondering if you  made it to the Colorado portion of the CDR in September.

Take care, be glad ya got the winter for those ribs to heal....

Sleddog